How much are you worth?

I'm priceless.

I know that sounds a little cocky, but it took me a long time to get here.  I've had periods of depression, negativity, self-worthlessness and more.  I've had a pity party for them all.  Guess what?  No one is going to treat you better than you should treat yourself.

When you choose to M.O.V.E. into your potential,  there's a critical step to take after Mending your body, mind and spirit and Optimizing your resources and opportunities.


If you wake up every morning and think that you can't do something or that your life sucks, then it probably will.  Your words and thoughts are powerful.   If you want things to change, you have to start with YOURSELF.  Change your attitude.  Instead of saying, "I hate my job", you could say, "My job isn't all bad".  That still has some negativity attached to it though.  How about, "These are the things that make my job worthwhile- what other jobs will allow me to do those things regularly?"  If you are stating positive phrases and thinking positive thoughts most of the time, the things that could worry you don't even show up on your radar.  You will automatically turn them into a positive.


Value and know your worth.



Last summer for my birthday, my cousins and sisters were headed out of town to a Beyonce concert when a flash flood hit our area.  My cousin's car was submerged up to the engine and was less than a year old.  We were prepared to cancel the trip to help my cousin get her flooded car taken care of.  What would you do in this situation?  She took a deep breath, waded through the receding water towards my sister's car and stated, "There is nothing that I can do about this car over the weekend.  On to the concert!".  We left to go out of town and had one of the best birthdays of my life.  She chose to be positive in an extremely negative situation and everything worked out.  When she returned home her car had been towed to the dealership and is as good as new now.  While her situation wasn't positive, her response to the situation was.

I know you may have issues that are more serious than this, but it's not about what you are going through. It's about your attitude while the situation is occurring.  As you Optimize your resources, you will come in contact with people who are observing the way you react and respond to positive and negative situations.  One of them may hold the key to your dream job or may be your future wife/husband.  Look at it this way, since you've made lists to focus on positivity and things you can do to reduce your unhappiness, a sunny outlook on life won't be that hard. Always smile and believe in yourself.  If you don't Value yourself and know how priceless you are, who will?

Want help in learning how to put the M.O.V.E. principles into effect? Contact me for information on the next Exit Strategy session in an area near you!

Exit Strategies

There are 7 days in a week.

                                                  ... and Someday isn't one of them.


We've talked about how to M.O.V.E. from your present situation towards your target destination.  When you start to M.O.V.E. you have no choice but to encounter change.  The very act of starting something new creates the beginning of an exit strategy-a means of leaving one's current situation, either after a predetermined objective has been achieved, or as a way to mitigate failure.

You've created a list of things that you want to accomplish; handpicked your Justice League to fight battles and lend a shoulder to cry on.  In short, taken the first steps towards Mending your body, mind and spirit. 

Now it's time to network to increase your net worth (exit strategy) by
                Optimizing your resources and opportunities

It can be very difficult to break out of a habit. Studies show that it can take from 21-184 days to change a habit.  Whether you are a self-motivator or need someone to push you along, it is important that you make this step a habit fairly quickly.  Everyone has a circle of trusted individuals that they can confide in.  Your personal circle (Justice League) may number 2 people or 102 people.  That doesn't matter.  You can always meet someone new that can expand your opportunities.



A friend of mine is an Extrovert.  I am an Introvert (Myers-Briggs Personality Test).  She is very outgoing, enjoys talking to and meeting new people and has a social media family that puts mine to shame.  I tend to be reserved until you get to know me, do not like meeting new people and am quite content to communicate by text rather than in person.  We met at work in sales jobs where our sole focus was to meet, talk and sell individuals a product.  We were both successful in spite of our differences and the bond we formed from that job has been wonderful.  She and I have discovered our true calling and are now at a point where we can look back and see the struggles we've encountered and share solutions on avoiding those pitfalls to others.

That being said, we would never have been able to do this if we had not taken the time to speak and get to know each other when our paths originally crossed. Let's get the ball rolling! Make a list of 100 people you know and reach out to them one by one just to say hello.  You never know what may happen- it uncovered a new job opportunity for me. Sound like too much work?  Just make the effort to start a conversation with someone you don't know - about anything.  Join a club, sign up for a class that sounds interesting or smile at someone you don't know at school/work. The goal is to put yourself in the best light and make the effort to step out of your comfort zone.

There is always strength in numbers, so if you get frustrated going it alone try to find a networking group. There are work-related LEAD groups, after hours networking and meet and greets in most cities.  My friend and I are hosting an Opportunities Based group this month that will focus on Strategic Exiting (from jobs, relationships or any other unhealthy situation in your life).  Hopefully, this will be a way for individuals to verbalize goals and give a forum and supportive group to help them achieve those goals.

Interested in attending?  Let me know.  In the meantime, start thinking about who you know that you haven't spoken to in a while.  Make an effort to reach out to them this week.  You never know what might happen when you begin Optimizing your resources and opportunities.

Mending Tears

We all need to learn how to sew.

If you rip, shred or tear something today, we throw it away.  Things are made so cheaply that it is not a good use of our time to try and patch them up.

Not too long ago, EVERYTHING was reused or repaired before it was considered useless.  If you ripped your blouse, you sewed up the hole.  Rip your jeans and we ironed on a patch to cover up the hole and Super Glue was excellent for repairing a cracked or broken coffee cup.

Today, we buy jeans already ripped, use the blouse for cleaning rags if it tears and a cracked cup simply goes into the trash.

That's exactly what we are doing with ourselves.  Throwing ourselves into the trash.

Every time you allow someone to hurt you emotionally without speaking up you are creating a tear in your soul.  Each time you eat food that is unhealthy for you, you're destroying your health.  When you stay at a job that literally makes you sick, you are degrading your mind. Sounds harsh, doesn't it?

We are on a mission to M.O.V.E.    

First step:  Mend your body, mind and spirit

In order to fix the problem, you've got to admit you have one.  In previous posts, we've made lists of things we wanted to fix.  Now is the time to break those lists out and pick the Top 3 things that are causing you the most stress and anxiety.  Once you've identified what needs to be fixed you have to break out the secret weapons: your Justice League.

These are family or friends that you trust with keeping you focused and that you can confide in. These are the people that are going to support you when you falter and cheer you when you succeed. Pray or meditate on those things that need fixing.  Without quiet time to reflect on what's wrong, you will never know what right looks like.  If you are overwhelmed on where to start, start small.  Here's a suggestion: Getting up 15 minutes earlier a day to exercise, write or read something motivational will help you focus.

Whatever you decide to do, try to have a list of 3 things you are going to work on,  Don't get overly ambitious- it's better to have 3 small accomplishments than 3 big failures.  Remember, it's not how many things you fix, just make sure you're taking steps to fix the key things that are going to mend the rips in your soul; tears in your spirit or damage to your mind.

Tomorrow: Optimize your resources and opportunities

M.O.V.E.!

People, it's time for change.

I don't know about you, but everywhere I turn I'm hearing a sad/sob story.  Most of my friends are losing jobs, sanity, relationships, houses, etc.  Guess What?

So, in the essence of change I propose that we all begin to M.O.V.E.

 Breaking through our present issues to transform into tomorrow’s promises.

Mend your body, mind and spirit

Optimize your resources and opportunities

Value and know your worth

Evolve into your promise

When steps are made towards each of these focus areas you can break through your present issues to transform into tomorrow's promise.  We will visit each of these steps as we M.O.V.E. towards transforming our current reality into something you can smile, sing and shout about!

Tomorrow: Mending the holes

Various Reasons

I am a tiny bit passive/aggressive.

I know it and I am trying to get better at it, but at least once a day I find myself slipping back into that behavior.  

Passive Aggressiveness is defined as a defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly forceful to get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others.   Bad, right?

Just seeing it in writing initially made me want to cringe, but then I decided there is nothing wrong with how I feel as long as I handle my interaction with others.

Unfortunately, that mindset prevents others from knowing who I really am.  When you feel one way and allow your relationships to be based on a set of different feelings- you're asking for trouble.

Right now, I've got more trouble than I need.  Job, family, education... Nothing is stable.  The only thing that connects these things is me.  I have to change something in order to move forward, so I have chosen to drop the passiveness and focus on aggression.  

While there are lots of definitions for aggression, I am choosing to share the one that best fits my mood- pursuing one's aims and interests forcefully.  I have decided to get out of my own (and everyone else's) way and focus on where I want to end up, not necessarily how I am going to get there.  God is my navigator, but I'm going to be in the driver's seat for this next leg of the journey!

What have you been passive-aggressive about in your life?  If you want to change that, please take 30 minutes out of your busy schedule to write down the things in your life that are frustrating you.  Be honest- are you part of the problem in those areas, or just along for the ride?  The first step is removing yourself those situations.  If you never get a chance to drive, how will you know if you are going to safely arrive at your destination?  

Share the top 3 things that you are going to forcefully pursue your aims and interests.  Who knows, one tiny step may take you to places you've never dreamed of! 

SHIFT!

It's been a rough summer.

I know that everyone has good and bad days, but lately I have been a little more challenged than normal.  I broke my car, had to cancel my vacation, work is not going well, the air conditioning broke, my asthma flared up, allergies are running rampant, my entire family has become nocturnal, I am sleep deprived and my hair is falling out.

Whew!  That being said, I received a text today from my cousin.  It was appropriately stated and came at the most appropriate time.  This is what occurred to me as I read it- although there can be dark days where you don't know how you put one foot in front of the other, when you least expect it there is a ray of sunshine right around the corner.

Today, it was this text.  Other days, it's sun rays streaming from clouds that look like God's hand reaching down to lend support; a baby to hold; framily to vent to or a cup of coffee that you get to drink when you are right. on. the. edge.

Whatever it is, it is your moment to choose: Stay or Shift?  If you stay mired in the space you are currently in, there's no telling where you will end up.  Your situation can be dictated by the circumstances you allow to happen to you instead of choosing to keep your head above all of the crap headed your way.

At the moment that you decide to change your mental and physical location, your reactions begin to define your subtractions.  Subtract anyone or anything that is not spiritually and strategically aligned with where you know you need to be and SHIFT!!!

What things do you need to shift from or towards?  Let us know!

Seven Simple Steps

Everyone is an author.

Not of a book, short story or a poem.  Nope, every single one of you gets to write your own life story.

Unfortunately, stories are just like life.  There are bad ones, good ones and great ones.  The outline below will help you make your personal story a bestseller, so grab some paper (or your laptop) and let's get started!


There are seven basic steps to creating the perfect story.

1. Understand your story- there's an old saying, "Know where you came from so you can see where you're going."  That is important in making life-changing decisions or shifting from one stage in your life to another.  Knowing who you are is the first step to crafting what you do and where you are going.
2. Choose your plot-  that's the where, what and why.  Where do you live?  What is your occupation?  Why are you looking to make changes in your life?  Where are you headed next?  Your plot keeps the story flowing smoothly from beginning to end.
3. Choose your hero-  who's going to save you when things go wrong?  Most people have and/or want to have someone to care for and who cares for you.  That's universal, but you have to be careful of who you choose as your hero/heroine- are they up to the challenge of "saving you" when needed?
4. Choose your character- THIS IS YOU!!!  Who you are creates character, while creating your character.  Selling and branding your skill sets is literally a business- don't become socially or morally bankrupt.  Choose your boundaries on how you will act and what you will tolerate.
5. Choose your media- How will people interact with you?  Face-to-face, texts, email, social media or phone?  Each conversation you have can help or hinder your progress.  You are your biggest critic, but also your biggest promoter.  Shamelessly exploit the fact that you are the person best to publicize you!  Inappropriate texts and social media posts can haunt you going forward- be careful on what you post for the world to see, 
6. Observe the rule of 3's- the focus is on the way human beings process information. Know the old wives talk about bad news coming in set of threes? We've become experts in recognizing patterns and three is the smallest number of elements required to create a pattern. Always ask and answer these questions when making life changes or 
7. Observe the Golden Rule- Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle!  Every decision is important, but you can learn from every mistake.  

Finish your story and let go.  Even if it's not perfect.

Have you finished writing your story or is it a work in progress?  Tell us what stage you're on!

Fearless

I have less fear than I did on July 18, 2011.

Three years ago I was downsized- part of a wave in my previous industry.  I knew what was coming and had time to mentally and physically prepare for the shift headed my way. 

I took a year to be a stay at home mom for my sons (PTA meetings, games, hot chocolate chip cookies after school) and spent time writing poems, short stories and LOTS of lists!  I uncovered more about myself in that period of time than I had the previous decades.  Sitting still in silence allowed God to speak clearly to me about what was coming.

I was fortunate and blessed to find a new career just as I was running out of a severance package and promptly dove into the business of working, parenting and living.  While grateful for the new opportunity, I have sacrificed excellent sleep, quiet time and creativity to perform at the level necessary to juggle all of my responsibilities.  As I come up on a 2 year anniversary of my new job, I have been spending time reflecting on that period in my life and trying to get that sense of peace back.  It's ironic that I was so peaceful in the midst of chaos, but the truth is that I simply had less fear.

Being fearless is not always being brave and courageous.  Sometimes it just means you have less fear about what's around the corner than you have peace about where you are headed.  In those moments, you have to stop and ask yourself, "What's the real issue here- failure or lack of trying?"  

It's a math equation.  Does trying hold less fear than failing?  Does failure hold less fear than the possibility of success? There's a bible verse I love: And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his  span of life?  Luke 12:25.  In this day and age of technology, every minute and every hour is precious.  We spend so much time rushing around that we don't actually get anything accomplished.  If you have a free hour, what would you rather do with it- time spent doing something you love or spending that time worrying?

Write down the things that currently create a sense of fear for you.  Job loss, relationships issues, health complications, debt problems... The list can be endless but keep it to less than 10 items.  Once you've written down those things, out to the side write down what would happen in a worst case scenario.  Than write down the best case scenario for each one.

How does reading those best/worst case options make you feel- anxious or oddly calm?  Statistics show that when you designate time to be anxious, you actually reduce anxiety and fears.  Schedule "fear time" to look at pros and cons of all the issues facing you right now- that designated time may turn into the quiet time you needed all along.

Starting now- make an effort to be fearless, or at the very least have less fear.  I guarantee your life will love you for it.

Share with us:  What things make you fearful?  What things make you fearless?

Emotional Warriors

I am Wonder Woman.

Growing up, did you every play Make Believe?  With a towel for a cape and paper towel rolls as a sword, my brother and I went to War and Saved the World a thousand times! 

Wonder Woman was my she-ro.  She was the first female action hero I ever saw and she kicked butt.  Her truth lasso and bracelets of power were AWESOME and don't get me started on her invisible jet!  Looking back on my fascination, I think Wonder Woman's real attraction for me was her mission to right wrongs and defeat bad guys. Superhero's Save the World-a glamorous, thankless job.  

Many of us (male and female) spend our lives trying to live up to someone else's ideal.  That can be exhausting. Righting wrongs and defeating bad guys is only fun if you win most of the time.  The daily grind of life doesn't always set you up to succeed and that's where things can get shaky.

Here are three things to keep things from toppling over:

• Faith- unlike Wonder Woman, I know that I am not in charge of my destiny.  Focusing on the life I want to lead, leads me to the life I want.
• Focus- lists, people.  Lists!  Write down where you want to go and map out how to get there
• Framily- your circle of family and/or friends that become your "Justice League".  Even if you are the baddest chick/dude out there, you need a select few who have your best interests at heart even when you don't. (If you need an explanation for Justice League, please spend time on the internet looking it up)

These three things will help you with the emotional warfare that you encounter every day when your feet hit the floor.  Your mind is being bombarded with images, ideas and other people's interests over 840 times every day. Guard yourself with your own truth lasso and bracelets of power- your Faith and your Framily.  

Fight emotional warfare with your emotional warriors.

If you don't have a "Justice League", go out and gather them today.  If you already have a "Justice League", make sure they know who they are and what battles you've been facing. Superheros fight harder when they know what their battles are.  Who are your real life Superheros?