Seven Simple Steps

Everyone is an author.

Not of a book, short story or a poem.  Nope, every single one of you gets to write your own life story.

Unfortunately, stories are just like life.  There are bad ones, good ones and great ones.  The outline below will help you make your personal story a bestseller, so grab some paper (or your laptop) and let's get started!


There are seven basic steps to creating the perfect story.

1. Understand your story- there's an old saying, "Know where you came from so you can see where you're going."  That is important in making life-changing decisions or shifting from one stage in your life to another.  Knowing who you are is the first step to crafting what you do and where you are going.
2. Choose your plot-  that's the where, what and why.  Where do you live?  What is your occupation?  Why are you looking to make changes in your life?  Where are you headed next?  Your plot keeps the story flowing smoothly from beginning to end.
3. Choose your hero-  who's going to save you when things go wrong?  Most people have and/or want to have someone to care for and who cares for you.  That's universal, but you have to be careful of who you choose as your hero/heroine- are they up to the challenge of "saving you" when needed?
4. Choose your character- THIS IS YOU!!!  Who you are creates character, while creating your character.  Selling and branding your skill sets is literally a business- don't become socially or morally bankrupt.  Choose your boundaries on how you will act and what you will tolerate.
5. Choose your media- How will people interact with you?  Face-to-face, texts, email, social media or phone?  Each conversation you have can help or hinder your progress.  You are your biggest critic, but also your biggest promoter.  Shamelessly exploit the fact that you are the person best to publicize you!  Inappropriate texts and social media posts can haunt you going forward- be careful on what you post for the world to see, 
6. Observe the rule of 3's- the focus is on the way human beings process information. Know the old wives talk about bad news coming in set of threes? We've become experts in recognizing patterns and three is the smallest number of elements required to create a pattern. Always ask and answer these questions when making life changes or 
7. Observe the Golden Rule- Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle!  Every decision is important, but you can learn from every mistake.  

Finish your story and let go.  Even if it's not perfect.

Have you finished writing your story or is it a work in progress?  Tell us what stage you're on!

Fearless

I have less fear than I did on July 18, 2011.

Three years ago I was downsized- part of a wave in my previous industry.  I knew what was coming and had time to mentally and physically prepare for the shift headed my way. 

I took a year to be a stay at home mom for my sons (PTA meetings, games, hot chocolate chip cookies after school) and spent time writing poems, short stories and LOTS of lists!  I uncovered more about myself in that period of time than I had the previous decades.  Sitting still in silence allowed God to speak clearly to me about what was coming.

I was fortunate and blessed to find a new career just as I was running out of a severance package and promptly dove into the business of working, parenting and living.  While grateful for the new opportunity, I have sacrificed excellent sleep, quiet time and creativity to perform at the level necessary to juggle all of my responsibilities.  As I come up on a 2 year anniversary of my new job, I have been spending time reflecting on that period in my life and trying to get that sense of peace back.  It's ironic that I was so peaceful in the midst of chaos, but the truth is that I simply had less fear.

Being fearless is not always being brave and courageous.  Sometimes it just means you have less fear about what's around the corner than you have peace about where you are headed.  In those moments, you have to stop and ask yourself, "What's the real issue here- failure or lack of trying?"  

It's a math equation.  Does trying hold less fear than failing?  Does failure hold less fear than the possibility of success? There's a bible verse I love: And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his  span of life?  Luke 12:25.  In this day and age of technology, every minute and every hour is precious.  We spend so much time rushing around that we don't actually get anything accomplished.  If you have a free hour, what would you rather do with it- time spent doing something you love or spending that time worrying?

Write down the things that currently create a sense of fear for you.  Job loss, relationships issues, health complications, debt problems... The list can be endless but keep it to less than 10 items.  Once you've written down those things, out to the side write down what would happen in a worst case scenario.  Than write down the best case scenario for each one.

How does reading those best/worst case options make you feel- anxious or oddly calm?  Statistics show that when you designate time to be anxious, you actually reduce anxiety and fears.  Schedule "fear time" to look at pros and cons of all the issues facing you right now- that designated time may turn into the quiet time you needed all along.

Starting now- make an effort to be fearless, or at the very least have less fear.  I guarantee your life will love you for it.

Share with us:  What things make you fearful?  What things make you fearless?

Emotional Warriors

I am Wonder Woman.

Growing up, did you ever play Make Believe?  With a towel for a cape and paper towel rolls as a sword, my brother and I went to War and Saved the World a thousand times! 

Wonder Woman was my she-ro.  She was the first female action hero I ever saw and she kicked butt.  Her truth lasso and bracelets of power were AWESOME and don't get me started on her invisible jet!  Looking back on my fascination, I think Wonder Woman's real attraction for me was her mission to right wrongs and defeat bad guys. Superhero's Save the World-a glamorous, thankless job.  

Many of us (male and female) spend our lives trying to live up to someone else's ideal.  That can be exhausting. Righting wrongs and defeating bad guys is only fun if you win most of the time.  The daily grind of life doesn't always set you up to succeed and that's where things can get shaky.

Here are three things to keep things from toppling over:

• Faith- unlike Wonder Woman, I know that I am not in charge of my destiny.  Focusing on the life I want to lead, leads me to the life I want.
• Focus- lists, people.  Lists!  Write down where you want to go and map out how to get there
• Framily- your circle of family and/or friends that become your "Justice League".  Even if you are the baddest chick/dude out there, you need a select few who have your best interests at heart even when you don't. (If you need an explanation for Justice League, please spend time on the internet looking it up)

These three things will help you with the emotional warfare that you encounter every day when your feet hit the floor.  Your mind is being bombarded with images, ideas and other people's interests over 840 times every day. Guard yourself with your own truth lasso and bracelets of power- your Faith and your Framily.  

Fight emotional warfare with your emotional warriors.

If you don't have a "Justice League", go out and gather them today.  If you already have a "Justice League", make sure they know who they are and what battles you've been facing. Superheros fight harder when they know what their battles are.  Who are your real life Superheros?  

Creativity!

I am focused on a life with no regrets.

Yesterday, I encouraged you to start making two different list and complete them over the next 72 hours.  You have 48 hours left, and it occurred to me that it may be a little difficult for you to just create a list from scratch.  After all, if it was easy to make the lists you would already have them created wouldn't you?

So, the only way to be as successful as possible is to BE CREATIVE!

Below are 29 ways to do that, but let's focus on three of them that will help you with your lists:

#2. Carry a notebook everywhere- if you keep your list close to you at all times and jot down new thoughts and ideas you have, the lists will grow at a rate you didn't think possible.
#18. Count your blessings- when you acknowledge where you've come from, you can focus on where you're going.  That can also create new ideas.  If you are grateful that you have a job, would you be fulfilled helping others find one too or taking a class to help you move forward at the job you have?
#25. Stop trying to be someone else's perfect- No one is going to create or finish your list for you, so make sure everything on it is something that resonates with you- not a significant other, family member or friend.  As Dr. Seuss said, "Today you are You, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is Youer than You.'

Keep going on those lists and look at these 29 ways to stay creative.  You never know what might spark a new idea!

What helps you to be creative when you get in a rut or need to come up with solutions to a problem?

Assumptions

Let's tackle the nasty business of assumptions.  You know the old saying about the word: "When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me."

While there's some truth in that, the moody truth is- assumptions can be a form of emotional abuse.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Although the word assumption is actually a noun, most people grammatically use it as a verb.
The two most common definitions of the word are:
   1. a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
   2. the action of taking or beginning to take power or responsibility.

Notice that the first definition makes the word a "thing" and the second definition is a verb. If you allow a word in the English language that is this confused to become a large part of your life, you too can become confused.

Say it with me, "I will refrain from making any assumptions today".  

Be careful, it's a lot harder than it looks.  What you are actually saying is, "I will not create any situations today that set myself or others up to fail."  Anyone placed in a position to live or interact with others from a place of inauthenticity is actively living an abusive lifestyle.  

Be true to yourself.  Make sure that your decisions, thoughts, actions and moods are a function of how you view the world.  Not how someone else does.  

What do you and/or others naturally make assumptions about?  Share them with us.

I have an announcement.

Your mood is about to get a lot more fabulous! 

Just saying that out loud should have brought a smile to your face. If it didn't, stop reading right now. (Depending on your vices, you need lots of wine, lots of chocolate or both. Repeat as many times as you need to until that statement brings you joy)

Back to the announcement- at days when things, people and places aren't going in the direction I would like, I have to redirect myself. I hear over and over again that you CHOOSE happiness. After the emotional roller coaster rides I have been on lately, I have decided to CHOOSE too.

 I chose to get OFF of the emotional roller coaster and ride my (very) tame, (very) colorful bicycle- thank you very much! At times, my bike still needs training wheels and other times I feel strong enough to ride down steep hills with no brakes. The key phrase in all of this is "I feel strong enough". Once you CHOOSE happiness, other choices are automatically made for you.

You believe in yourself a little bit more. You stand a little taller. And you smile a little more.

Positivity is the first step towards making happiness happen :) For all of you that need a little push (or a swift kick in the tail), please recite the following pledge with me.  Please let me know how reciting the Positivity Pledge is working for you- I'd love to see if it makes a difference in your life.