Are you confident?

I'm not.  I'm un-becoming.  As I recently embarked upon a new job opportunity, I started to notice a few things about myself.

   1.  I'm not as self-confident as I thought I was 

   2.  The last decade has taken a toll on my self-esteem

   3.  I desperately wanted both of those things to change

I always thought that the obstacles you encountered were there to help make you a better person, but what if they occurred to prevent you from taking the easy way out?  Just think: if you simply followed an easy path in life, you may never make choices that forge the steel in your spine.

My youngest son recently complained about the lack of choice he feels he has.  He is a sophomore in high school and career aptitude tests, magnet school choices and testing has propelled him down an engineering career path.  He is starting to balk at that foregone conclusion and I support his right to un-become.  In a world of technology and busyness the act of being still enough to hear God; to breathe deeply; to have the freedom to make the wrong decision is priceless.

Every step doesn't need to be measured or controlled.  Every task doesn't have to have a purpose.  As I un-become, I plan to take deep breaths, choose different paths just for fun and ENJOY the ride!

Are you stuck in a path to nowhere?  Make a list of the things you like to do for fun OR take a career test to see what you may be suited for: http://similarminds.com/cgi-bin/career5.pl 

Who knows?  If you haven't already chosen a career, this may be the start of something new.  If you have chosen a career and aren't satisfied with your choice, this could be the start of something big!  Either way, you will learn new things while you complete your journey to "un-become".

Sunsets

When you look at this photo, what comes to mind?


When I first saw this, all I wanted to do was pack a bag and ride off down that white line straight into the light.  First instincts are strong and generally right.  What is it that makes us dream about new places and ideas?  What is it that keeps us "chained" to the old ones?

As I M.O.V.E. forward into a new job and new mindsight I had to sit down and take stock of my mind set.  Most of us tend to take things at face value.  When you look at this picture- is the sun coming up or going down?  It's all in how you look at it.

I see both.  My sunset is an old job, previous expectations and blindly stumbling on a trail that others have set for themselves but is not right for me.  My sunrise is a new job, creating and reaching goals that I have set for myself and following the path that God has recently set me on.

What are you facing- a sunset or a sunrise?  Decide today and begin to M.O.V.E. towards making your life spectacular!

Kindsight

Ever regretted a decision that you made?  

I have and it made me so angry every time I thought about what the decision cost me (emotionally). Every time I turned around I uncovered another solution to the problem than I had thought of before.

Here's a suggestion to keep you moving forward Instead of wallowing in regret or hindsight: start using kindsight.

Kindsight is looking at things from a more forgiving light.  Instead of asking yourself, "Why did I do something so stupid?" pose the question "What did I learn from this?" instead.

Each decade that you enter (and leave) will share new lessons with you.  I can honestly say that I love the decade that I am currently in!

You could not pay me to relive a decade over because every lesson I learned turned me into the person that I am today.- stronger, more compassionate, wiser and more focused on others.

Hindsight may be the recognition of realities or possibilities of a situation after its occurrence; but kindsight is the compassionate and gracious ability to recognize a positive thing after it occurs.  There should never be a harsh criticism against being a compassionate and gracious human being.  Changing the world starts with you and if you are viewing your mistakes and past with rose-colored glasses, you are more inclined to view others the same way.

As you begin to M.O.V.E. (previous posts), you have to include a healthy dose of forgiveness at every turn.  You will have to forgive your family and friends that criticize you uninvited.  The person you will have to forgive the most though is yourself.

You are your harshest critic.  When you decide to do something, you will.  When you decide you can't do something, you won't.  While you should always have a Justice League to swoop in and rescue you when things get too rough, always reserve the Superman spot for yourself.

Don't rely on others to constantly boost you up, be your cheerleader, create a defense strategy and ultimately make sure your awesomeness is transmitted throughout the universe.  Be your own cheerleader!  Remind yourself daily- AWESOME ends with Me!

What do you need to view with more kindsight?  Want to develop your kindsight?  Need to feel more AWESOME?  Want to know how to M.O.V.E.?
Let me know and I'll help get you started!

#kindsight    
#exitstrategy
#getupandmove

Evolution

I love chaos.  

Not because of the disorder, confusion and mess.  No, I love chaos because it shows that change is occurring.  Most people don't like change.  I know that change is inevitable.  When you stay stagnant, you aren't growing and nothing can evolve.  

When you choose to M.O.V.E., you start Mending your body, mind and spirit; Optimizing your resources and Value your worth.  That tends to create chaos somewhere in your life. If you are embracing the change, it may not cause chaos with you, but with those that are closest to you.

In spite of the issues surrounding your shift, you still need to shift towards the last step of M.O.V.E...

Evolve into your promise.

Evolve is a verb meaning to develop or change gradually from a simple to a complex form.  The only human being you have full control over is yourself.  When you look around and everything is in chaos and what you are doing isn't working, the only thing to do is change yourself.  The process of that evolution changes who and what you are- generally making you strong enough for the road ahead of you.  Just because you don't know what lies ahead of you, doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to be better.

 The lists you've made and the positivity steps you've taken should help you as you are networking.  Your truth lies in front of you.  Are you ready to dive in, shift and M.O.V.E. towards something great?  If you are, let me know so I can share the next networking and strategy session with you. As Oprah Winfrey once said, "The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person that you were intended to be."  Who do you want to be?

How much are you worth?

I'm priceless.

I know that sounds a little cocky, but it took me a long time to get here.  I've had periods of depression, negativity, self-worthlessness and more.  I've had a pity party for them all.  Guess what?  No one is going to treat you better than you should treat yourself.

When you choose to M.O.V.E. into your potential,  there's a critical step to take after Mending your body, mind and spirit and Optimizing your resources and opportunities.


If you wake up every morning and think that you can't do something or that your life sucks, then it probably will.  Your words and thoughts are powerful.   If you want things to change, you have to start with YOURSELF.  Change your attitude.  Instead of saying, "I hate my job", you could say, "My job isn't all bad".  That still has some negativity attached to it though.  How about, "These are the things that make my job worthwhile- what other jobs will allow me to do those things regularly?"  If you are stating positive phrases and thinking positive thoughts most of the time, the things that could worry you don't even show up on your radar.  You will automatically turn them into a positive.


Value and know your worth.



Last summer for my birthday, my cousins and sisters were headed out of town to a Beyonce concert when a flash flood hit our area.  My cousin's car was submerged up to the engine and was less than a year old.  We were prepared to cancel the trip to help my cousin get her flooded car taken care of.  What would you do in this situation?  She took a deep breath, waded through the receding water towards my sister's car and stated, "There is nothing that I can do about this car over the weekend.  On to the concert!".  We left to go out of town and had one of the best birthdays of my life.  She chose to be positive in an extremely negative situation and everything worked out.  When she returned home her car had been towed to the dealership and is as good as new now.  While her situation wasn't positive, her response to the situation was.

I know you may have issues that are more serious than this, but it's not about what you are going through. It's about your attitude while the situation is occurring.  As you Optimize your resources, you will come in contact with people who are observing the way you react and respond to positive and negative situations.  One of them may hold the key to your dream job or may be your future wife/husband.  Look at it this way, since you've made lists to focus on positivity and things you can do to reduce your unhappiness, a sunny outlook on life won't be that hard. Always smile and believe in yourself.  If you don't Value yourself and know how priceless you are, who will?

Want help in learning how to put the M.O.V.E. principles into effect? Contact me for information on the next Exit Strategy session in an area near you!

Exit Strategies

There are 7 days in a week.

                                                  ... and Someday isn't one of them.


We've talked about how to M.O.V.E. from your present situation towards your target destination.  When you start to M.O.V.E. you have no choice but to encounter change.  The very act of starting something new creates the beginning of an exit strategy-a means of leaving one's current situation, either after a predetermined objective has been achieved, or as a way to mitigate failure.

You've created a list of things that you want to accomplish; handpicked your Justice League to fight battles and lend a shoulder to cry on.  In short, taken the first steps towards Mending your body, mind and spirit. 

Now it's time to network to increase your net worth (exit strategy) by
                Optimizing your resources and opportunities

It can be very difficult to break out of a habit. Studies show that it can take from 21-184 days to change a habit.  Whether you are a self-motivator or need someone to push you along, it is important that you make this step a habit fairly quickly.  Everyone has a circle of trusted individuals that they can confide in.  Your personal circle (Justice League) may number 2 people or 102 people.  That doesn't matter.  You can always meet someone new that can expand your opportunities.



A friend of mine is an Extrovert.  I am an Introvert (Myers-Briggs Personality Test).  She is very outgoing, enjoys talking to and meeting new people and has a social media family that puts mine to shame.  I tend to be reserved until you get to know me, do not like meeting new people and am quite content to communicate by text rather than in person.  We met at work in sales jobs where our sole focus was to meet, talk and sell individuals a product.  We were both successful in spite of our differences and the bond we formed from that job has been wonderful.  She and I have discovered our true calling and are now at a point where we can look back and see the struggles we've encountered and share solutions on avoiding those pitfalls to others.

That being said, we would never have been able to do this if we had not taken the time to speak and get to know each other when our paths originally crossed. Let's get the ball rolling! Make a list of 100 people you know and reach out to them one by one just to say hello.  You never know what may happen- it uncovered a new job opportunity for me. Sound like too much work?  Just make the effort to start a conversation with someone you don't know - about anything.  Join a club, sign up for a class that sounds interesting or smile at someone you don't know at school/work. The goal is to put yourself in the best light and make the effort to step out of your comfort zone.

There is always strength in numbers, so if you get frustrated going it alone try to find a networking group. There are work-related LEAD groups, after hours networking and meet and greets in most cities.  My friend and I are hosting an Opportunities Based group this month that will focus on Strategic Exiting (from jobs, relationships or any other unhealthy situation in your life).  Hopefully, this will be a way for individuals to verbalize goals and give a forum and supportive group to help them achieve those goals.

Interested in attending?  Let me know.  In the meantime, start thinking about who you know that you haven't spoken to in a while.  Make an effort to reach out to them this week.  You never know what might happen when you begin Optimizing your resources and opportunities.

Mending Tears

We all need to learn how to sew.

If you rip, shred or tear something today, we throw it away.  Things are made so cheaply that it is not a good use of our time to try and patch them up.

Not too long ago, EVERYTHING was reused or repaired before it was considered useless.  If you ripped your blouse, you sewed up the hole.  Rip your jeans and we ironed on a patch to cover up the hole and Super Glue was excellent for repairing a cracked or broken coffee cup.

Today, we buy jeans already ripped, use the blouse for cleaning rags if it tears and a cracked cup simply goes into the trash.

That's exactly what we are doing with ourselves.  Throwing ourselves into the trash.

Every time you allow someone to hurt you emotionally without speaking up you are creating a tear in your soul.  Each time you eat food that is unhealthy for you, you're destroying your health.  When you stay at a job that literally makes you sick, you are degrading your mind. Sounds harsh, doesn't it?

We are on a mission to M.O.V.E.    

First step:  Mend your body, mind and spirit

In order to fix the problem, you've got to admit you have one.  In previous posts, we've made lists of things we wanted to fix.  Now is the time to break those lists out and pick the Top 3 things that are causing you the most stress and anxiety.  Once you've identified what needs to be fixed you have to break out the secret weapons: your Justice League.

These are family or friends that you trust with keeping you focused and that you can confide in. These are the people that are going to support you when you falter and cheer you when you succeed. Pray or meditate on those things that need fixing.  Without quiet time to reflect on what's wrong, you will never know what right looks like.  If you are overwhelmed on where to start, start small.  Here's a suggestion: Getting up 15 minutes earlier a day to exercise, write or read something motivational will help you focus.

Whatever you decide to do, try to have a list of 3 things you are going to work on,  Don't get overly ambitious- it's better to have 3 small accomplishments than 3 big failures.  Remember, it's not how many things you fix, just make sure you're taking steps to fix the key things that are going to mend the rips in your soul; tears in your spirit or damage to your mind.

Tomorrow: Optimize your resources and opportunities